Nutcrackers (2024) Review: Ben Stiller and the Janson Kids are Alright But Not So Much for the Others

The straight-to-streaming Nutcrackers marks the return of David Gordon Green to small-scale movies seen in his earlier works such as George Washington and All the Real Girls. Besides, he has spent the last six years reviving old horror franchises including the legacy sequel trilogy of Halloween before he stumbled big time with the dreadful Exorcist: Believer. Interestingly, Nutcrackers turns out to be Ben Stiller’s first leading role in seven years since Brad’s Status and The Meyerowitz Stories.

So, it’s nice to have him back and here, he plays Michael, a career-minded, big-city real estate developer from Chicago taking a last-minute leave to head down to rural Ohio to settle some paperwork. That’s a five-hour drive and on his way there, he gets a call from her boss (Ari Grayner in a voice-only role) pressuring him over an important deadline needed by Monday.

However, what is supposed to be a straightforward deal related to legal matters turns out to be more complicated than he thinks. Instead of just signing some papers and heading back straight to Chicago in his bright yellow Porsche, he arrives at his late sister Janet’s farmhouse to find out her four kids — Justice (Homer Janson), Junior (Ulysses Janson), Samuel (Atlas Janson) and Simon (Arlo Janson) — are currently without a guardian. Gretchen (Linda Cardellini), the social worker in charge of handling the case, leaves Michael with no choice but to take care of the kids for the time being.

We learn that Michael’s sister and brother-in-law were recently killed in a tragic car accident. But for a bachelor like Michael, looking after the kids is the last thing on his mind. If that’s not enough, the kids are bad news. In other words, it’s tough days ahead for Michael to deal with these rascals at home. They simply love to fool around and make fun of their uncle day and night.

It’s all familiar stuff with the reluctant Michael having trouble getting along with the kids at first and David Gordon Green, working from Leland Douglas’ screenplay, stays rigid with the tried-and-true formula to the point it feels so clichéd. It doesn’t help either that the movie struggles throughout its frequently sluggish 104-minute running time. It’s not like the movie lacks trying with decent amusing moments when Michael tries to teach the kids about sex education and at one point, he tells them an unlikely bedtime story of a certain Stallone movie.

Stiller’s subdued performance balancing between comedy and drama contrasts well with the Janson kids and yes, they are real-life brothers who turn out to be newcomers. And yet, despite no prior acting experience, the Janson kids proved to be a natural in front of the cameras and their love-hate chemistry with Stiller’s Michael is among the least positive things I can say about Nutcrackers. Linda Cardellini’s supporting turn as the kindly social worker Gretchen is sadly underused here while the laughs are only few and far between.

The hijinks related to the kids’ mischievous acts are mostly a hit-and-miss affair and frankly, insipid in its execution. I get that David Green Gordon tries to aim for the feel-good comedy vibe meant to exude more warmth, given its Christmas-y theme. But does have it to be this narratively flat? The movie also slips in subplots including Michael trying to get them potential foster parents and Justice falling in love with a girl with mostly mixed results.

And what about the title Nutcrackers have to do with the movie? Well, you have to wait until much later in the second half, leading to a heartwarming finale before the movie closes out beautifully with Lightning Seeds’ laid-back pop song “Pure” playing in the end credits. Overall, it’s a waste of opportunity to give Ben Stiller and the Janson kids something more substantial to work with.

Nutcrackers is currently streaming on Hulu and Disney+.